Some days are better than some, the kids wake up, get dressed and downstairs for morning breakfast. Those are the days that I love and selfishly look forward to for my own sanity especially on a Monday Morning, when getting back into routine from the chaotic weekend is generally hard to do. Easy Monday mornings are almost like a dream that you never want to wake up from because it’s going so good. Then there are those days when I wake up at 6am in the pit of Hell’s fire, all I can do is say “God please give me strength”
The moment I open my mouth you can bet the Fire breathing dragon is awake and I’m yelling like a crazed bat until the kids get on the school bus at 7:30. Then my guilt starts to set in and I asked myself why I let myself get from 0-1,000,000 in a split second and then I remember the last words my 5 year old says as shes walking out the door. ” I wish I had a different Mom!” My world stops and I begin to cry, hearing that and words similar to that like “your mean mama” have to be the most gut wrenching words you could hear from the children you’ve carried for nine months and birthed. It makes me feel less than worthy of Being a Mom. Which is the hardest job that a woman can ever do, it makes me question my motherhood skills and my overall character.
I will admit with stress in my own daily life 70% of the time I am on edge, feeling stressed and exhausted from lack of sleep and so much to do and accomplish in the day when I would rather be sleeping. Let’s be real! Life is a hard ride to steer and there is no drivers manual to learn the rules of life’s road.
I know being a Mom is a tough job to do, its a selfless minute by minute, hour by hour, and day by day job that never sleeps. Even when I am in bed I am thinking about the well being of my kids. I am happy that being a mom takes all of me, I am blessed that I am mom who cooks, cleans, does laundry, cleans poop, vomit and pee every other day. I love that being a mom means, that I have to wipe tears, talk about the birds and bees and go up to bat when some other kid is picking on my babies. This mama bear always protects cubs. Through it all although the kids sometimes get angry with me, at the end of the day I know they love me and appreciate me. Being a mom is one of the greatest gifts I could ever ask for and I couldn’t imagine life without them.