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8 Things I’ve Learned In 8 Years Of Marriage

8 Things I’ve Learned In 8 Years Of Marriage

8 Things I've Learned In 8 Years Of Marriage

 

8 Things I’ve Learned In 8 Years Of Marriage. January 11th my husband and I celebrated 8 years of being married. Yes it hasn’t been a long time to be married but I thought that doing this post I can pay back and shed some light…..  alot of light for soon to be brides looking for advice before they tie the knot. The both of us have met quite a few couples and single people that ask my husband and myself how we’ve kept our marriage going and the love flowing. It made me think long and hard as to what we`ve done as a couple to ensure that our marriage remained strong, never dull and locked as 1 unit. Let me start off by saying this, anything thing you invest your time, heart, body, and soul in, is alot of work. Its the type of work that constantly needs training to refresh skills, to learn new ways of investing and more importantly to grow more to apply what you have learned. One of my favourite outlets to gain more knowledge on how to sustain a loving marriage is attending the XO Marriage Conference

There are 8 Things I’ve Learned In 8 Years Of Marriage that have gotten my through alot in and continue to make my journey as a Christian Wife an example to my children more particularly to my son what a wife should be to him and to my daughters how they should be with their husbands.

8 Things I’ve Learned In 8 Years Of Marriage

  • Make God the head of the household– This is so important the bible says in 1 Cor. 11:3  I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman,and God is the head of Christ. Placing God first in a marriage is the one thing that I had no clue about. Realizing that God has a plan for your marriage well before you do is what we forget. Its already done, already figured out. Trying to control it, in ways of the world I have learned can actually tear apart a marriage. I have learned that a rich marriage is about God and not about things like lust, selfishness and lack of respect. When I finally realized that taking the focus off of what I wanted, and knowing that its was God`s plan, the abundance that he has given to us both is amazing.

8 Things I've Learned In 8 Years Of Marriage

  • Communicate– If I could use this 6 other times I would. Communication is so important in marriage. Hiding issues brings more of them. Facing them right away(not months or weeks after) and sharing them with your spouse with a humble heart and sensitive words will make a world of a difference. If I had known this in the beginning of my marriage… actually I did, I just didnt understand the depth of the meaning. Knowing this would have eliminated many of the disagreements that my husband and I shared in our first years of marriage. I learned that using my hot mouth, and waiting until things built up only made the situation worse. Now we take a time out and regroup to talk about what`s bothering us so that we never go to bed angry.
  • Respect– Husbands need respect unconditionally, its how they are programmed. Its something that makes them strive to do better and to provide the love to wives that they need. I learned very early in my marriage that its an important aspect. There have been times that I have said things, didnt respond in a respectful way to my hubby and I really saw how it tore down his self esteem as a man.
  • Date Night– This is something that I take as serious as my first tip. Date night is so important in a marriage you have one on one time where you can block out the world and only focus on one another. No interruptions! It can be something as simple as going out for a cup of coffee or tea or even to the library to look for a good book. Every Thursday is date night for my husband and I its the one day of the week that we both look forward to. We get dressed up, we hold hands, we giggle and kiss like we did when we were dating. Its a time were we reflect back on many things in life and talk about our future together.

8 Things I've Learned In 8 Years Of Marriage

  • Don’t take advice from other friends who are married or single friends– I never have gone to other people for advice. sometimes you will hear advice as a friend being biased and not as someone who is married. I have listened and observed many marriages and relationships in my time to know that I would never seek advice from anyone. PRAY! all the answers you will ever need is through prayer and a licensed therapist if you must
  •  You will find out things about yourself you never knew– Being married I have learned alot about myself that I didnt know prior to being married. I am far more emotional that I thought, I have learned to trust more, worry a little bit less(just a little) and I have learned to love ALOT more.
  • Apologize first!– In my head I am singing Justin Bieber`s sorry song… anyway sometimes even if I didn`t want to say it because I felt I was right I humbled myself and said sorry. Not only did it break the walls down for hubby and I to talk. I got to sleep much quicker

  • Pick your Battles– fighting over who left the toothpaste open, or why he always leaves the toilet seat up… Is so not worth the fight. If its one thing I have constantly to this day had to remind myself of is knowing when to pick a battle. Most of the time it isn`t even worth it and gets no where fast.
  • Happy Wife Happy Life (bonus) Yes this is self explanatory! I am Happy and so is he!

8 Things I've Learned In 8 Years Of Marriage

Thanks for reading! What are some of your tips you have learned being married, let me know in the comments below!

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7 Comments

  • Reply Karin Rambo

    Yes to picking your battles!! That has been huge for us! It does no one any good to pick at every little thing. For example, my husband always leaves his breakfast dishes on the table and when I wake up I have to clean them. It would be so easy to complain to him, but then I notice his Bible sitting there next to them and I realize it’s because he spent more time in the word and didn’t have enough time to do his dishes. That is infinitely more important to me than clean dishes!

    Karin
    http://www.truncationblog.com

    01/02/2016 at 10:45 am
  • Reply Terri's Thoughts

    we celebrate 14 years in May and these are all great things for a great marriage.

    01/02/2016 at 11:13 am
  • Reply Cole

    Happy (belated) anniversary! Marriage can be difficult, but I love your advice!

    01/02/2016 at 1:42 pm
  • Reply Laurient

    My husband and I have only been married for 4 months tomorrow and I already see how key communication is. However sometimes it’s easier said than done. I also loved that you included date nights. They’re so important for reconnecting and keeping that spark going!

    01/02/2016 at 1:54 pm
  • Reply Danielle DeVane Wells

    Yes, I totally agree with you! You learn so much about yourself! That one is so true! All of your points were great! Good reminders for me! Thanks for sharing!

    01/02/2016 at 8:39 pm
  • Reply Andrea

    God is the third person in the marriage….

    01/02/2016 at 9:35 pm
  • Reply Amanda | Maple Alps

    I really enjoyed reading this! I loved your first point. God first in marriage is key! I’ve only been married 8 months to your 8 years, but I can already see a difference in the relationships I’ve observed where God is first, and where He is just an afterthought (or maybe not a thought at all). It makes a huge difference!

    31/03/2016 at 8:30 am
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