Being A Mom Of A Teenage Girl
Being a mom of 3 kids is a tough job. However being a mom of a teenage girl is a completely different ball game altogether. As you continue to read this post lets get one thing clear, she is not a terrible kid, she is just your average teen girl trying to navigate through life. At the end of all this, I have learned a few valuable tips to raise her and I wanted to share them with you as well. For the last 4 years I have cried tears, yelled, had numerous breakdowns, wanted to walk away from motherhood altogether. Failed, had thoughts of what it would be like without kids, without a teenage girl. I have said unkind/ungodly things, and the biggest one of all I have had the fear of having to raise a teenage mom.
It’s no bed of roses being a teenage mom, I would know because I was one, if you haven’t read my story you can check it out here however on the flip side of it all it’s also not easy being a teenage girl either. Being the mom of a teen strengthening a relationship can bring a lot of stressors in communication and
expectations There are days when I have found it difficult to respond appropriately as a parent rather than an 18-year-old battling with a 17-year-old. It’s very hard because in so many ways I can relate to her, for two reasons I have been where she is and it was not that long ago.
Secondly, she is the product of teen actions getting way out of control. Raising a teen is very challenging, communication with them can be a hit or miss, the fluctuation in emotions and the know it all attitude is the most exhausting avenue I have ever had to navigate through. As soon as my girl entered into her teen years it has been a very difficult time for myself in terms of adjusting to hormonal changes, having feelings of failure and abandonment. You see all I have ever wanted is to prove myself to my daughter, to show her that I am worthy enough to be her mom. Although when she shuts me out or she doesn’t confide in me, I have felt belittled and humiliated. I know that is all a part of being 17, but also because I left her behind with my mom for a few years in order to provide a good life for her. Figuring out the way teens act and think is the first way to engage in a healthy parent/ teen relationship. For me, my daughter is some what of a private person she lets me know things on a need to know basis. When I press certain issues she shuts me out completely so when she is ready to open up on her own will I know that I need to drop what ever it is I am doing to be there. Because I can’t guarantee that she will come to me again. Even if what she is about to tell me sends me over the deep end, I suck it up get my emotions together and listen.
Another important tip in raising a teen is to never bash their friends or speak negatively about them. I have learned first hand that it only pushes them closer to those shady friends you’re trying to get rid of. I never want my girl to look to her peers for advice on things that need an adult point of view I want to have open conversations about the good, bad and ugly. Things to look forward to during her most influential years, without being judgemental. I have learned to listen more and talk less while I observe her body language because it has helped me with touchy subjects that she would normally avoid.
Lastly, the most important tip of all that I have learned, get on their level no that does not mean you have to be their best friend, I honestly don’t believe in that philosophy it hasn’t worked for me at all. What I mean is being intentional with them. Learn them, learn what they like and dislike, their interests, music, new slangs( im serious on this one) Not only is it a great segway to conversing with your teens it’s also a not so obvious way to be nosy so you are aware of what is going on in their lives.
How well do you know your teen? What tips do you have for raising teenagers? Let me know in the comments below